Jason has spent the last 2 weeks finishing his last class at TMS – The Pastor’s Home. I was only able to attend a few of the classes with him, but the ones that I did attend were profitable. They were Q&A sessions with various members of the church/seminary staff. On the last night of class, Dr. Mayhue (the seminary VP) and his wife, “B,” spoke on their experiences as a family in ministry. They spoke separately on their own personal experiences, and then answered questions from the students together. As Dr. Mayhue introduced his wife just before she spoke, he listed 15 qualities that he felt she possessed, which made her a good pastor’s wife. (Now, he said there were 15… I believe him, but in looking over my notes, I realized that I only had 14! Maybe I combined a couple of them, or maybe I simply missed one altogether! Either way, it’s still a good list!) And, as he was speaking I began to see two things. First, this is a man who loves and admires his wife!! He truly believes that he has found “a good thing” (Prov. 18:22). Second, this list could be (and should be!) applicable to any Christian wife, it is certainly not exclusive to a “pastor’s wife.”
The Pastor’s Wife is:
- Fully supportive of her husband’s ministry: She never tries to create a competing career, or slow down the process out of fear.
- Flexible: She is not rigidly self-willed.
- A Servant: She has a servant’s heart.
- A Keeper of the home: She makes caring for her husband and family a priority.
- Organized and Efficient: She is not lazy or undisciplined.
- Others-Oriented: She is not “stand-offish” or shy, and looks to be an encouragement to others.
- Content to be herself: She is not ambitious to be a “star” in the church, she is not jealous of her husband’s position, or of the attention he receives.
- A Godly Woman: She is an example to other women.
- Hospitable: She is not hyper-private, she does not appear hospitable in public, but in reality does not allow anyone into her home or life.
- Patiently stands with her husband: She never takes too seriously the excess of praise or criticism given to her husband.
- A Sounding Board: She gives honest and practical feedback to his thoughts and ideas.
- Biblically Oriented: She is not into the latest church fad, but focuses on Scripture to deal with questions and problems.
- Willing to be sacrificial:She puts her mind on the things which are above, and not on the things on earth.
- Fervent in prayer: She understands, and lives in, the tension between man’s responsibility and God’s sovereignty in life.
This is somewhat of a daunting list! As I look at these qualities I realize that I still have so far to go! I want my husband to be able to say:
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” ~Proverbs 18:22