Category Archives: Biblical Womanhood

Summer Challenge: Praying for my Children

I a7CD740FF-88E7-4374-A7ED-E959DB5ABA9Dm so excited about my project for this summer!

Praying for our children kind of goes without saying when you’re a mom (or a dad). But, often I feel like I am just “winging it,” with the same old requests for health, safety, and salvation each day. (And, of course, for patience for myself throughout the day!)

I want to be more intentional in my prayer time for the precious lives that the Lord has entrusted to my care each day. So, this summer, I am challenging myself to be more disciplined, not just in how and when I am praying, but also in what I am praying for.

When 2 different friends separately recommended this book, within 24 hours of each other, I knew it was exactly what I wanted to do.

I will be reading (and praying!) Through Nancy Guthrie’s The One Year Praying through the Bible for your Kids. Yes, I realize this is a One Year plan. The pages are dated, so I’ll be doing something I usually would recommend against doing, and starting in the middle of the book…on June 1st.

What are you doing this summer?

 

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Filed under Biblical Womanhood, Currently Reading, Life, Life in Ministry, Mommyhood, Pastor's Wife, Summer Challenge, Thinking Biblically

Summer Challenge: The Details

backlit-beach-boy-694587sumer-challengeSo…How does this work? Well, that’s a good question. There really aren’t any hard and fast rules.

Well, okay. I guess there are 2. Only 2!

First, pick just one thing. If you’re like me, you probably thought of about 10 different areas that you would like to work on. That’s great. Keep a list. Challenge yourself again in the future! But, for now, one thing. Don’t get overly ambitious. Don’t try to multi-task. Take this time to focus on just one thing, one area.

And, second, it has to be something related to an area of spiritual growth. I realize that leaves a lot of leeway. Wouldn’t it be better if we all did the same thing? Maybe. But, not necessarily. While every Christian should be growing, we all grow at different rates, and are all at different points in our spiritual life. I cannot lift the same amount of weight that my husband does. He is much stronger than I am. If I tried to match him pound for pound, I would give up before I even got started (and hurt myself trying!). But, he doesn’t even break a sweat lifting my tiny little dumbbells. He wouldn’t get any stronger doing my “workout.”  So it is with this. You have to start where you are. Push yourself…to the point of growth, but not to the point of discouragement or burnout.

The challenge will run for 3 months: from June 1st through August 31st, 2018. Technically, that is 92 days, and, actually works out to a little over 13 weeks…not 12 like I said in my original post.

And, that’s really it…

But, while I wouldn’t consider these “rules,” I would like to encourage you to do a few more things throughout the challenge:

  1. Share what you have chosen to focus on this summer, and how you plan to accomplish it! Share it here in the comments…share it in a post on your own blog (be sure to link back so we can follow along!)…share it on Facebook. This isn’t about pride, spiritual bragging rights, or “one upsmanship.” It is simply about accountability. Let people in. Let them know what you are doing, and let them hold you accountable. (Who knows, you might even inspire someone else to join you!)
  2. Update! Tell people how it is going! As the summer goes on, share what you’re learning, how you have been encouraged, and yes….even where you are struggling. Let’s encourage one another, and learn from one another!
  3. At the end, take some time to evaluate how the challenge went. Did you accomplish what you set out to do?
    If so, what changes did you see in your spiritual life as a result? Were they what you expected…or were they different?
    If not, why? What happened?
    Either way, what did you learn? How did you grow? And, how will you continue to apply what you learned beyond the summer.

I am so excited to begin my own challenge…which I will be sharing in an upcoming post. And, I hope you are prayerfully considering, and looking forward to yours as well.

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Summer Challenge Facebook Group

Several years ago, a friend and I decided that, as young moms, with busy husbands, and ministry commitments, we wanted to make sure that our time with the Lord wasn’t getting overlooked in the chaos that was our everyday lives. We both realized that, for us, this was going to mean getting up early. Neither of us were really what you might call “morning people,” so, we decided we were going to need help. So we took turns calling each other, each morning to make sure the other was out of bed. While the desire to ensure that I had some time in the Word and in prayer before my daughter was up and ready to go for the day was certainly there…there were definitely mornings when the promise (threat?) of her phone call would propel me out of bed, when I might have otherwise decided to slack off, sleep in, and put it off until I got around to it…”later.” Sometimes I was the one making the wake up call. And, not wanting to let my friend down was also a strong catalyst to get myself going when my alarm went off. Neither of us wanted to be the one who was still sleeping when that accountability call came in! Now, we were young moms, and even though we each only had one child at the time, there were some mornings that truly did call for a little extra sleep (illness, teething, bad dreams…sometimes that’s just how it is). But, we still made sure to ask about what the other had read, or learned later on in the day. And, we prayed for one another. Consistently.

It’s easy to start out strong, and enthusiastic. But, eventually, the newness wears off, and having someone else to encourage you (or push you) along, when you feel like sleeping in…when “life” begins to get in the way of your new commitment…when other activities look easier, or at least more enjoyable.

That is the purpose of this Facebook group. Consider this group your virtual wake-up call. We will check in regularly. Expect to be asked where you are, or how you are doing in your challenge. We can encourage one another to keep going when we would rather give up. We can pray for one another when we are discouraged, or behind, or not seeing any real progress. And, we can rejoice with each other as we see these ventures to completion, and see the fruit of challenging and stretching ourselves to grow spiritually!

While each of these challenges are personal, and are being undertaken for a variety of reasons, we are not designed to live our spiritual lives independently of one another.

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” ~Philippians 2: 1-4 (ESV)

As promised, I have created a Facebook Group for this challenge. Join us here:

Summer Challenge Facebook Group

backlit-beach-boy-694587sumer-challenge

If you would like, share the challenge, and invite others to join as well!

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Filed under Biblical Womanhood, Life in Ministry, Marriage, Mommyhood, Pastor's Wife, Summer Challenge, Thinking Biblically

A Summer Challenge

Memorial Day is often considered the unofficial start of summer. Even if we technically still have a few weeks before summer starts, it already feels like summer here, with temperatures (and humidity!) reaching well into the 90’s.

As the weather warms up, school lets out (yes, even for homeschoolers!), ministries, and other activities often slow down, or take a break. But, summer can still be busy (maybe even busier than the school year!). This summer, our family is looking forward to (multiple) homeschool conventions, 2 weddings, Bible studies, fellowships, and a church family picnic…and that’s just in the next few weeks! But, even with the busyness that it can bring, summer affords many people a change of pace from their regular schedules and routines for a little while.

3 months. Or, 12 weeks. Or, 90 days. (Well, 92 days, to be exact.)

Ask any student (or teacher), and they will probably tell you that 3 months is not a very long time. But, I have heard it said that it only takes 30 days to create a habit. If that is the case, just imagine what you could do with 90 days!

What would happen if you committed yourself to focus on something, some area of personal enrichment for those 90 days? What would it be? Maybe a sugar fast, a new workout routine, practicing (or learning) an instrument, or reading a classic work of literature? You would probably see some pretty amazing results in your physical health, your appearance, your ability, or your academic knowledge.

And, all of those things are great. But…

“…for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” ~1 Timothy 4:8 (ESV)

But, what if, instead of (or at the very least, in addition to) a pursuit that really only holds value in this life, you spent the next three months committed to working something that will also “hold promise in the life to come”? Can you imagine the change that you would see…in your own relationship with the Lord, your knowledge of Scripture, your prayer life…in your marriage, your family, your relationships with your children…in your church?!

So, here is my challenge to you… Prayerfully consider, and choose one area of spiritual growth to focus on this summer, for the next 3 months. It can be anything…any area you want to work on, or grow in… The only restriction is that it must be something that pertains to your spiritual life.

But if you need ideas, here are a few to get you started:

  • Do an in depth study of a book of the Bible (or study a specific passage, topic, or word)
  • Read a commentary
  • Memorize Scripture
    • If you’re new to memorization, Janet Pope’s book, His Word in My Heart, would be a great place to start…Then, pick one verse to memorize each week (Check out Fighter Verses). And, one verse a week is only 12 verses.
    • Or, make it a little more of a challenge, and memorize a chapter, or a whole book.
      – Philemon, 2 John, 3 John, and Jude are only one chapter.
      – 2 Thessalonians, Titus, and 2 Peter are only 3 chapters…that’s only one chapter a month!
  • Read the entire Bible. (Yes. Really.)
    • Several years ago, I used this plan to read through the entire Bible in one summer. It was a little like sprinting through a marathon…but, well worth it. (You know, using this plan, you could theoretically read through the entire Bible 4 times a year!)
  • Study an area of Doctrine or Theology:
    • Calvinism vs. Arminianism
    • Covenantal vs. Dispensational
    • End Times
    • Baptism
    • Spiritual Gifts
    • The Attributes of God
  • Read the biography of a great hero of the faith.
    • J.C. Ryle: Prepared to Stand Alone, by Iain Murray
    • A Chance to Die, by Elisabeth Elliot
    • My Heart in His Hands: Ann Judson of Burma, by Sharon James
    • Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy, by Eric Metaxas
    • Newton on the Christian Life, by Tony Reinke
    • Feminine Threads, by Diana Severance
  • Read a classic spiritual work:
    • Pilgrim’s Progress, by John Bunyan
    • Institutes of the Christian Religion, by John Calvin
    • The Existence and Attributes of God, by Stephen Charnock
    • Religious Affections, by Jonathan Edwards
    • The Christian in Complete Armour, by William Gurnall (There are 3 volumes…maybe try to read one a month?)
    • Holiness, by J.C. Ryle
  • Read a book that will challenge and stretch you in your spiritual walk:
    • The Joy of the Word-Filled Family, by John Barnett
    • Crazy Busy, by Kevin DeYoung
    • Missional Motherhood, by Gloria Furman
    • Hospitality, by Pat Ennis
    • Slave, by John MacArthur
    • Humility, by CJ Mahaney
    • Future Grace, by John Piper
    • The Race Set Before Us, by Thomas Schreiner and Ardel Caneday (This is a very theological book. If it seems a bit too daunting, Run to Win the Prize is a shorter, more user-friendly version, also by Thomas Schreiner.)
    • The Biblical Counseling Guide for Women, by John and Janie Street
  • Commit to doing (or, maybe first, starting?) family devotions.
  • Commit to regular, consistent church attendance. (Yes. Even in the summer.)
  • Commit yourself to a time of daily, consistent prayer…for your marriage, your children, your church, your country…
    • If this is a discipline that you have struggled with, again, start small. Start with 5 minutes a day. Add 5 minutes each week…and after 12 weeks, by the end of the summer, you will find yourself praying for a whole hour!

Now, some of these ideas are definitely a little bit more ambitious than others. Remember, the intent is not to try to accomplish the same thing as someone else. The purpose is your spiritual growth, and change. This isn’t a competition. There is no one to impress. That’s not the point.

Start small if you need to, that’s okay. Most runners don’t start with a marathon. Weight lifters don’t bench press 500 pounds on their first try. But, at the same time, make it a challenge. Stretch yourself. Push a little bit beyond your comfort zone.

This might mean giving something up. It might mean cutting back on “more fun” activities. Maybe it will mean putting down your phone. Maybe it will necessitate turning off the TV (or Netflix). It might mean disciplining yourself to get up earlier, or to go to bed later to allow time for whatever you have chosen.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” ~Ephesians 5:15-16 (ESV)

Over the next few days, take some time to consider, and pray about an area in your spiritual life where you need to grow, or to be challenged. And, let’s make the best use of the time we have been given this summer!

***

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” ~Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV)

Because these types of endeavors start with all sorts of enthusiasm and good intentions, and often fizzle out partway through (New Year’s Resolutions, anyone?), let’s also commit to hold each other accountable, and encourage one another in this.

Stay tuned for details…and a Facebook group devoted to this purpose!

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Listen.

Over the past several years, I have noticed a trend of choosing a “word of the year.” This seems to be the new New Year’s Resolution. A mantra, of sorts, to inspire change, growth, or simplicity (all common words-of-the-year, by the way) in the upcoming year.

I have shied away from this particular blogging/social media trend, because it has always seemed to be just a little too close to “name it and claim it” territory for my comfort.

Until this year.

It was quite unintentional, I assure you. And, as I have actively, and quite intentionally avoided this particular blogging/social media trend, I figure it is only appropriate that I am also bucking the common practice of declaring my word at the beginning of the year…

Last Christmas, my husband gave me The Biblical Counseling Guide for Women. And, as the Lord often does, it was exactly what I needed to read…starting in the very first chapter!

The chapter was on Anger. And, while I do not typically think of myself as an angry person (oh, I have my moments!), maybe it would be better to say that I do not like to think of myself as an angry person. But, it wasn’t the specific topic of anger that resonated with me. It was the idea of listening.

John and Janie Street explained it this way:

“Listening is hard to do when you’re angry, because true listening involves submission. This requires a silent, inward confession that your demands and anger are not right and that you need the correction and help of another. This is not listening for some audible voice from God, because He has already communicated to you everything you need in His Word. When you try to hear an audible voice, you betray your lack of trust in the sufficiency of His Word (2 Peter 1:3, 2 Timothy 3:16-17). Instead, listen to God through the truth of His Word – the Bible. … But, you must not stop with just listening. To listen carefully, you must not continue to speak.” (The Biblical Counseling Guide for Women, pgs. 31-32, bold mine)

My family talks…a lot. I think it was a bit unnerving for my husband when we started dating. Family dinners were loud. Words flew at a furious pace. Good-natured arguments and friendly debates were common. We interrupted, and talked over one another. Sentences often overlapped. Thoughts were often left incomplete. None of it was done maliciously, or with the intention of being rude or inconsiderate. That’s just how we communicated.

It was the polar opposite of his family’s way of doing things. His family was quiet. Conversations were slow and deliberate. They waited for someone to finish a thought (maybe a sentence, maybe an entire paragraph) before chiming in. And, the general pace of conversation was much slower.

So, early on in our marriage, my husband frequently pointed out my propensity to interrupt him. Honestly, I dismissed his observation, and his rebukes. I wasn’t doing it to be rude. I was doing it out of habit.

But, it bothered him.

And, the truth is, it was inconsiderate. It was rude. It was disrespectful.

And, if “true listening involves submission,” this was an obvious lack of submission on my part.

Instead of listening to him, to his perspective, and his opinions…I would cut him off, or talk over him, in order to share my opinions, and defend myself and my perspective…again. And, I am not only talking in the context of disagreements, although those types of conversations would definitely fall into this category. Sadly, I am mostly talking about normal, everyday communication.

“Speaking when you should be listening only interrupts the valuable insight that you are lacking.” (The Biblical Counseling Guide for Women, pg. 32)

To say I have been a slow learner in this area would be a gross understatement. I am embarrassed to say that we had been married almost 15 years…and I was only just beginning to recognize the enormity of my problem in this area. And, as I began to realize the years of wisdom and valuable insights I had missed out on (both from him, and from others), by insisting on speaking, when I should have been listening…I finally wanted to take his concern seriously.

Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” (ESV)

And, James 1:19-20 says, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (ESV)

There is no sugar-coating it. Scripture calls an over-abundance of words, and the speed with which we rush to verbalize them, sin.

So, I took those verses as my starting point for this past year. Even though I had read them numerous times, I began to meditate on them, daily. And, I made it my goal to prayerfully apply them in every single conversation and interaction that I had…with my husband, with my children, with the people in my church, and online.

To listen carefully, you must not continue to speak. This became my motto (not mantra!) for this last year.

Did I do it perfectly? No. I think, this side of Heaven, it will always be a struggle.

“For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.” James 3:3 (ESV)

In his sermon on Taming the Tongue, John MacArthur says,

“if I want to focus my Christian life on one thing, if I want to get my act together, if I want to bring my whole spiritual life into control, I ought to work on my what?  My tongue.  Well, now we realize that it’s not fully possible to totally have a holy tongue, but to the extent that one controls his tongue, he will control his body.  Why?  Because whatever spiritual dynamics work to control your tongue will therefore work to control the rest of you. But it makes it so simple and so dynamic if we can just concentrate on the tongue.  Isn’t that practical?  I mean, just get it down to that. Focus on your mouth. And if the Holy Spirit gets control of the most volatile and the most potent member, the rest will be subdued.” (Taming the Tongue, part 1)

And, over the course of the year, I found that I could sum up my goal in one simple word:

Listen.

“If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” James 1:26 (ESV)

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