Biblical Womanhood, Homemaking, Life in Ministry, Mommyhood

When Life Happens

The laundry piles (clean and dirty) are beginning to take over, and it is becoming a challenge to find something presentable to wear.  The dishes are threatening a mutiny in the kitchen!  And, there really isn’t room to walk in the play room, or Hannah’s bedroom (do so at your own risk!) – with all of the toys, books, crayons, beads, and tiny doll shoes scattered over every inch of the no-longer-visible carpet! 

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But, I know how to prevent this!  I’ve done it before.  So, what happened?!  I thought life was supposed to slow down after the holidays.  I thought I would get things back on track when life returned to “normal” (whatever that is).  But, it is the beginning of February.  And, I am still waiting for life to slow down, but, it keeps “happening.”  (Which almost always means that the housekeeping does not.)  So, I’m beginning to think that maybe it isn’t “life” that is too busy…Maybe it is me!?

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Maybe part of the problem is just the natural aftermath of holiday company, new Christmas gifts in need of homes (and older toys needing to be rotated out of circulation for a little while), and the process of transforming a “baby” room into a “big girl” room.  And, there were the Christmas parties and extra services, followed by getting the regular ministries up and running again after the start of the year.  Then, I managed to hurt my wrist falling down the stairs. (Yes, I’m a klutz.) Hannah had a rash and pinkeye. And, I came down with a hideous cold.  Yes, life happens.

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You know, I could probably get away with blaming just one of those factors for the state of my home right now. 

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But, I can’t.  Because, life does happen.  And, when I honestly evaluate the situation, I know that this did not happen overnight, or even as a direct result of any of those events.  It happened slowly…  Until I find myself overwhelmed by the chaos and clutter consuming my home, and the mere thought of conquering it seems almost impossible.

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Sound familiar?

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As a wife and mom, I am called to be a keeper at home.  But, that is difficult to accomplish when I am rarely at home.  Or, maybe I am at home, but my time is otherwise occupied.  Either way, when the dirt, clutter, and chaos takes over, it is a good indication that I am not doing my job…or, at the very least, I am not doing it well. 

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But, my calendar is full…of good things!   And, it seems like I am busy all day long.   But, busyness does not mean that I am using my time wisely.  Even good things can take up time that should be invested elsewhere.  (And, although there are aspects of Twitter and Facebook that I enjoy, I am convinced that these two forums have an ability to eat up time like nothing else, except maybe television…)

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So many things are clamoring for our time and attention these days – from the legitimate, necessary, and eternally valuable, to the frivolous, trivial, and, in some instances, downright irresponsible.  And, we need to make sure that we are using our time and energy wisely – and investing it in the right people, and the right place. 

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I am not really a New Year’s Resolutions kind of girl, but the beginning of this year marked our first year here – in our new home, new church, and new town!  So, it was a good time to step back and assess how and where I am investing my time, and how (or if) that reflects my biblical priorities. 

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And, do you know what I realized?  I realized that life is not going to slow down if I keep adding more things to our already-overflowing week.  And, it is okay to say no.  Yes, even to good things, like “ministry” opportunities.  Because, in this season and stage of life, my most important ministry is my family and my home.  I am a wife and mom to my husband and my daughter first.  I am a “pastor’s wife” second. 

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Because I believe that God has called me to be a wife and mother, the primary focus of my time and energy should be within the realm of my home: my husband, our daughter, and our house.  And, that gives me plenty to do each day.  So, I must be a wise manager of my time, resources, and energy.  And, being a wise manager includes knowing when, and what, to say yes to, and when it is better to say no. 

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For the past few weeks, I have been prayerfully revising our daily and weekly schedule.  And, in the process, I have said no to some great opportunities…in order to concentrate on some even better ones.

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“…and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” ~Titus 2:4-5

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What about you?  What does your day, or week, look like?  Do your activities accurately reflect the role(s) and priorities that God has called you to fulfill?

6 Comments

  1. I’m almost glad to hear that you have trouble keeping house sometimes! Not because I want you to struggle, but because it makes you more human, and less of the “perfect wife and mother” I see you to be. 🙂 But I totally understand when things overwhelm- I’m there soooo much f the time, and that was actually why I went through my schedule revision recently, too. I was finding myself over and over being so frustrated that I couldn’t get ANYTHING on my list done, or so it felt. I was so glad when I got just one room cleaned, and I was ending each day exhausted. I made a decision that at least during this season, I needed to change my expectations of myself so that I don’t have to have every inch of the house cleaned each week. If I can just keep it picked up, I feel better, it’s still acceptable for guests, as long as they don’t come in with white gloves! I found that I was so concerned with house cleaning that I was neglecting something else even more important- my daughter! I was telling her to go off and play by herself so I could get stuff cleaned up, instead of either including her in the cleaning, or taking the time to play a board game, do a reading lesson, etc with her. Thanks for posting this. It’s a good reminder to us all to look at our priorities, and remember that even the “good” things are not always the “best” things. 🙂

  2. Mandy Jafari

    That is me today – especially about it being more difficult in finding something presentable to wear – and the state of my girls room. : ) I don’t feel like I”m extremely busy as I have been in the past with church ministry, but rather I feel I am not effecient with my time – and sure enough I find time to do the things I want to do, rather than my “have-to” ‘s. I’m asking God to change my “want-to” so that I desire more than other things to be that wife and mom that He wants me to be (which includes house-keeping) : ). So thank you for posting about this particular subject because it’s right where I am today.

  3. I can relate to this almost daily! While I am at home most of the time, I seem to find many things to fill my day and time other than keeping our home pleasant and tidy. I’m truly trying to make a change, but I know it will be a gradual shift of my priorities. I need to make some big changes!

  4. […] When Life Happens from A Quiet Heart […]

  5. I found myself in the same boat – it’s the middle of February and I’m still trying to find “normal” again. I had to finally just create a new “normal” in order to make sense of all the “stuff” that was being neglected (cleaning my house, schooling my daughter, etc). Thanks for sharing your story!

  6. […] the bible studies she offers, her homemaking posts, and her Biblical views of things worldly. Her life happens post sounded reminiscent of a post of mine. I will definitely be back to this blog – […]

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