A Quiet Heart…

There is no such thing as Christian work. That is, there is no work in the world which is, in and of itself, Christian. Christian work is any kind of work, from cleaning a sewer to preaching a sermon, that is done by a Christian and offered to God.

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This means that nobody is excluded from serving God. It means that no work is “beneath” a Christian. It means there is no job in the world that needs to be boring or useless. A Christian finds fulfillment not in the particular kind of work he does, but in the way in which he does it. Work done for Christ all the time must be “full-time Christian work.” (Discipline: The Glad Surrender, pg. 122)

We hear a great deal about people’s intentions, and hopes, and wishes, and feelings, and professions.  It would be well if we could hear more about people’s practice.  It is not the servant who is found wishing and professing, but the servant who is found “doing” whom Jesus calls “blessed.”

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The lesson is one which many, unhappily, shrink from giving, and many more shrink from receiving.  We are gravely told that to talk of “working,” and “doing,” is legal, and brings Christians into bondage! Remarks of this kind should never move us.  They savor of ignorance or perverseness.  The lesson before us is not about justification, but about sanctification, not about faith, but about holiness.  The point is not what a man should do to be saved, but what ought a saved man to do?  The teaching of Scripture is clear and express upon this subject.  A saved man ought to be “careful to maintain good works.” (Titus 3:8)  The desire of a true Christian ought to be, to be found “doing.”

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~J.C. Ryle, Expository Thoughts on Luke (vol. 2), pg. 90

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“…I cannot read the Bible without desiring to see many believers more spiritual, more holy, more single-eyed, more heavenly-minded, more wholehearted than they are in the nineteenth century.  I want to see among believers more of a pilgrim spirit, a more decided separation from the world, a conversation more evidently in heaven, a closer walk with God….”  ~J.C. Ryle, Holiness

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Although these words were originally written about the church in nineteenth century England, this is my prayer for the Christians of twenty-first century America.

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This trend of sharing less-than-favorable information with, well, essentially, with the world, is not limited to our husbands.  Our children can also be the victims of our snarky comments, and tendency to over-share.  Often the kid-version is a “cute” (but potentially embarrassing) anecdote, or a bit of gossip couched in a “prayer request.” 

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And, it starts before the kids are even born with more than a few whiney status updates about morning sickness.  Eventually, those progress to complaints about the aches and pains of late pregnancy, accompanied by the impatience of waiting for baby to finally make an appearance.  That morphs into subtle protests about newborn-induced sleep-deprivation, exasperated comments about the 2-year-old’s temper tantrum at the grocery store, the 5-year-old’s difficulties with friends at school, the sibling squabbles, and the teenager’s sullen attitude toward…well, everything.

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I know that life as a mommy isn’t always perfect.  There are difficulties.  Some days are just plain hard.  And, I’m not at all suggesting that we should not be able to look to friends (both flesh-and-blood and the online variety) for encouragement, support, prayer, or a hug.  And, I realize that sometimes these comments are simply the result of sharing “real life.”

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But, just like with our husbands, these online communities can appear to offer a “support group” of sorts, where other mommies are quick to commiserate with our plight, and offer words of sympathy, and a ready chorus of “I know what you’re going through.”  Again, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Sometimes the support, encouragement, and prayers of others are very much needed.

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But, sometimes, hard as it may be to hear (read), we need to be exhorted us to take our eyes off of ourselves and our difficulties, discomforts, and frustrations, and think about what our words are doing to our children’s reputations.

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“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” ~Psalm 127:3

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Scripture calls children a blessing – a reward! Is that how we see them?  Put another way, do our online friends know that we see them as blessings?  Or do they only know the difficult, problem-causing, undisciplined children that we complain about multiple times a day?

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“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” ~Colossians 3:21

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When I was a teenager, my parents and sister decided that it would be funny to share my (naked) baby pictures with my friends.  Although the nickname stuck around longer than I would have liked, in the grand scheme of things, the humiliation was relatively short-lived. 

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Today, the internet has taken the embarrassment-potential, and the shelf-life of that humiliation to a whole new level for our children.  Now, every potty-training accident is reported in real-time.  (I’ve even seen some moms live-blog their child’s potty-training escapades!!)  Every disobedient act is broadcast.  Every teenage crush, romance, and break-up is documented.  And, the naked baby pictures?  The world has now been invited to view every goofy and embarrassing photo in your collection.

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Beyond the embarrassment factor, sometimes, I just have to cringe when I read what moms write about their kids.  Because, some comments reveal more than just “real-life” parenting moments and missteps.  They reveal a consistently discontent, frustrated, complaining spirit that, honestly, leaves me wondering if this mom even likes her children…let alone thinks of them as a blessing or a reward!

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Some kids may still be young enough for mom to “get away” with this.  But…does that make it right?

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My daughter is only in the beginning stages of learning to read.  She is still a long way from entering the online world.  But, sometimes I do wonder what she would think if she could read my status updates on a regular basis.

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Would she be unduly humiliated by information that I have shared about her – her personality, her character, her behavior, her mistakes?  When I complain about how boring, how difficult, how unfulfilling, it is to be a mom, should she conclude that she is a burden, an inconvenience, a hindrance?  Is she free to share her heart – struggles, concerns, and joys – with me?  Or, should she worry that whatever she says or does is fair-game, and may very well end up as blog fodder?  And, not to pick on the pastor’s wives (again), but if your kids already have to wonder whether or not they are going be next week’s sermon illustration, shouldn’t we, as their moms, give them a little break in our online world?

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One fact that these hastily typed statuses and tweets often overlook: Children grow up.  Quickly.  They grow out of “phases.”  The “terrible two’s” don’t last forever.  But, apparently, tweets do.  Now, every snarky comment, every cutting remark, every negative or discouraging observation, is being saved for posterity. 

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I lived through the embarrassment of having my naked baby pictures shared with my friends.  And, mercifully, most have forgotten about it. 

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Will our children have the same opportunity?

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“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” ~Ephesians 3:4

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 We love our church family!!

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(More pictures from the picnic are available here.)

The other day, I was reading Voddie Baucham’s monthly newsletter.  Not that he needs my help in advertising, but if you do not subscribe yet…Why not?  You really should.  Like his books and sermons, each newsletter is full of all sorts of practical, biblical advice and encouragement for families.

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 But, I’m getting off track.  Back to why I started talking about the newsletter in the first place…

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This month, my attention was drawn specifically to the “Family Discipleship Corner.”  The topic was “Sing Great Songs with Your Kids”. 

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We play CDs of great music throughout the day – hymns, worship songs, instrumentals, (a select few) contemporary Christian songs, Scripture set to music… And, while we are playing, or coloring, or cleaning, or in the car, we love to sing along.

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So, based on the title of the article, I thought, “Okay, we’re good.  We do that all the time.”  Until I read the first sentence:

 “Singing is perhaps one of the most under-appreciated aspects of family discipleship.”

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Although we sing throughout the day, because we do not sing as part of our structured family devotional time each night, this statement made me wonder if it was under-appreciated in our home as well.  And, it may be that this is an area that we need to prayerfully consider, and be more intentional about including…

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But, “family discipleship” is not limited to a specific time, or activity.  Family discipleship definitely includes family devotions, but discipleship should be, or rather, is taking place all day long.  And, hymns, and other great, theologically, and doctrinally sound songs do not have to be relegated to church services, or to “official” times of family worship.  They should be a regular part of our normal everyday life.

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Baucham’s article goes on to say,

“The great hymns of the faith are tremendous tools with which we can instruct our children in sound doctrine while obeying the Lord’s command to “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” (Col 3:16)”

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Hannah is only four.  Can we, and should we really expect her to get much out of those (so-called) archaic hymns?

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True, she may not always understand each concept or deep theological truth presented in some of the great old hymns.  But, I’d venture to guess that many adults occasionally have trouble with them too.

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The point is not that children “get it” immediately.  The goal is to “try to find songs rich in doctrine that your children can grow into.” 

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And, by playing and singing these songs throughout the day (or as part of our daily family devotions) Hannah is becoming familiar with them.  She is asking questions when she doesn’t understand a concept.  And, we, as her parents, get the privilege of explaining those truths (and, at times, learning alongside her!).  As a result, there are times when she gets it.  She grasps a deep theological concept, and, yes, at 4-years-old, she gets excited about it!  So do we!

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That is family discipleship.

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Don’t underestimate the value and the power of these tools – of singing the great songs, hymns, and spiritual songs – with your children!

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What are some of your family’s favorite “psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs”?

How do you intentionally integrate them into your family discipleship?

Pulpit Highlights – John MacArthur from Grace Community Church on Vimeo.

“I just want, above all things in my life, to obey the Word of God and to be in the place of blessing.”
~John MacArthur, Shepherds’ Conference 2010

The laundry piles (clean and dirty) are beginning to take over, and it is becoming a challenge to find something presentable to wear.  The dishes are threatening a mutiny in the kitchen!  And, there really isn’t room to walk in the play room, or Hannah’s bedroom (do so at your own risk!) – with all of the toys, books, crayons, beads, and tiny doll shoes scattered over every inch of the no-longer-visible carpet! 

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But, I know how to prevent this!  I’ve done it before.  So, what happened?!  I thought life was supposed to slow down after the holidays.  I thought I would get things back on track when life returned to “normal” (whatever that is).  But, it is the beginning of February.  And, I am still waiting for life to slow down, but, it keeps “happening.”  (Which almost always means that the housekeeping does not.)  So, I’m beginning to think that maybe it isn’t “life” that is too busy…Maybe it is me!?

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Maybe part of the problem is just the natural aftermath of holiday company, new Christmas gifts in need of homes (and older toys needing to be rotated out of circulation for a little while), and the process of transforming a “baby” room into a “big girl” room.  And, there were the Christmas parties and extra services, followed by getting the regular ministries up and running again after the start of the year.  Then, I managed to hurt my wrist falling down the stairs. (Yes, I’m a klutz.) Hannah had a rash and pinkeye. And, I came down with a hideous cold.  Yes, life happens.

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You know, I could probably get away with blaming just one of those factors for the state of my home right now. 

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But, I can’t.  Because, life does happen.  And, when I honestly evaluate the situation, I know that this did not happen overnight, or even as a direct result of any of those events.  It happened slowly…  Until I find myself overwhelmed by the chaos and clutter consuming my home, and the mere thought of conquering it seems almost impossible.

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Sound familiar?

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As a wife and mom, I am called to be a keeper at home.  But, that is difficult to accomplish when I am rarely at home.  Or, maybe I am at home, but my time is otherwise occupied.  Either way, when the dirt, clutter, and chaos takes over, it is a good indication that I am not doing my job…or, at the very least, I am not doing it well. 

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But, my calendar is full…of good things!   And, it seems like I am busy all day long.   But, busyness does not mean that I am using my time wisely.  Even good things can take up time that should be invested elsewhere.  (And, although there are aspects of Twitter and Facebook that I enjoy, I am convinced that these two forums have an ability to eat up time like nothing else, except maybe television…)

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So many things are clamoring for our time and attention these days – from the legitimate, necessary, and eternally valuable, to the frivolous, trivial, and, in some instances, downright irresponsible.  And, we need to make sure that we are using our time and energy wisely – and investing it in the right people, and the right place. 

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I am not really a New Year’s Resolutions kind of girl, but the beginning of this year marked our first year here – in our new home, new church, and new town!  So, it was a good time to step back and assess how and where I am investing my time, and how (or if) that reflects my biblical priorities. 

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And, do you know what I realized?  I realized that life is not going to slow down if I keep adding more things to our already-overflowing week.  And, it is okay to say no.  Yes, even to good things, like “ministry” opportunities.  Because, in this season and stage of life, my most important ministry is my family and my home.  I am a wife and mom to my husband and my daughter first.  I am a “pastor’s wife” second. 

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Because I believe that God has called me to be a wife and mother, the primary focus of my time and energy should be within the realm of my home: my husband, our daughter, and our house.  And, that gives me plenty to do each day.  So, I must be a wise manager of my time, resources, and energy.  And, being a wise manager includes knowing when, and what, to say yes to, and when it is better to say no. 

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For the past few weeks, I have been prayerfully revising our daily and weekly schedule.  And, in the process, I have said no to some great opportunities…in order to concentrate on some even better ones.

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“…and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” ~Titus 2:4-5

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What about you?  What does your day, or week, look like?  Do your activities accurately reflect the role(s) and priorities that God has called you to fulfill?

This morning, I read Al Mohler’s newest article.  Then I immediately posted a link to it on Twitter – which, I was surprised to discover, lost me a few followers!!  On to Facebook – where it may have caused a few to “unfriend” me, I don’t know.  Let’s see who I can alienate here, shall we?

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Have you ever heard of a book called The Shack?  Yeah, me too.

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Like many people, I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve been told to read it.  And, because some of those recommendations were coming from trusted sources, I did consider it.  But, then I read several glowing reviews, absolutely praising Young’s depiction of God, and our relationship to Him her…  Wait? What?!  That’s right, her.  But, instead of peaking my interest, all these positive reviews accomplished was to send up one red flag after another about the theologically questionable content of this book…and quite honestly, the discernment of those so highly recommending it.

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I later found several lengthy reviews on the opposite end of the spectrum.  Each one, carefully, and point-by-point, denounced the numerous doctrinal and theological problems contained within this book. 

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For the record, no, I have not read it.  At one point, early last year, I had planned to.  Not because I had any real desire to do so, or because I thought I would enjoy it, or benefit from it.  But, because I wanted to be able to knowledgeably respond to “fans” of the book, who were so quick to buy in to this mistaken theology. 

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While I respect and appreciate so many of those who did take the time to read this book, and to honestly, and thoroughly critique it, I realized that I did not need to fill my mind with this “fictional account” in order to converse about it intelligently, or to deepen my relationship with God.  What I really needed to spend my time doing was filling my mind with God’s Word.  Because that is where we are going to encounter God…where we will discover God’s character, and His holiness, and His plan for us…In the Truth of His Word, not in some work of fiction.

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Whether you have read this book for yourself – liked it or hated it, or had it recommended to you ad nauseum, or if you are simply wondering what on earth I am babbling on about (fair question!), then you need to go and read why Al Mohler calls The Shack “A disastrous failure of evangelical discernment.”

Sunday mornings can be a hectic, chaotic time.  Instead of causing us to focus on and prepare our hearts for worship, it is a time of frustration, resulting in the family arriving at church frazzled, irritated, and “fashionably” late.  It is a common problem.  At least, it has been in my home…And, I know I’m not alone, because I have seen 2 different posts (on 2 separate blogs!) on this very topic this week!

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My husband is a pastor, so for me, being late to church is really not an option.  It reflects badly on him, it sets a bad example (to others within the church, and to our daughter), it is distracting to others, and…it just makes me crazy.  But, he has to be at church about 2 hours before Hannah and I do.  (We meet at a local high school, so he gets there early to get everything unlocked, set up, and warm!)  Which leaves me to get the two of us fed, dressed, and out the door…on time and in a state of mind (and dress!) that is ready, and appropriate, for a morning of worshiping our Lord. 

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There is a way to avoid the Sunday morning rush.  The answer is simple: Start preparing Saturday night.  The music pastor at my childhood church used to remind us that “Sunday starts Saturday night!”  I said the answer was simple.  It is not always easy.

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Here is what we do on Saturday night to ensure that everyone is clothed, fed, and out the door on time – and in our right minds – on Sunday morning:

1. Select “church clothes”.  Everything – from the necessary undergarments to accessories – should be laid out, or hung up in an easily accessible location.  Older children can do this for themselves, but for the moms of little ones, this is an important step.  And, don’t just “mentally pick out” what everyone is going to wear.  Go look at it.  Make sure the items you have in mind are there.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve planned out an adorable little ensemble for my daughter (in my head) only to go to her closet on Sunday morning, and discover that the tights had a hole, the shirt never made it into the laundry basket and is still dirty, the dress fell off of the hanger and somehow ended up shoved into the box of dress-up clothes, and is now wrinkled beyond belief, or one (not both…it’s never both!) of her church shoes has gotten up and walked off all by itself!
   I’d much rather search for shoes, or choose an entirely new outfit on Saturday night, and not mere seconds before we need to walk out the door.  I don’t like dealing with “wardrobe malfunctions” on Sunday mornings.  Sometimes, they can’t be avoided – hems get caught on the heel of a shoe, buttons come off, zippers break.  But, one article of clothing, for one person, is much easier to deal with, adjust, or fix. 
2. Iron, or make any other necessary adjustments.  My husband always wears a button-down dress shirt, and slacks.  These usually need at least a touch up with the iron.  Even if I iron them after washing, there is still a crease from the hanger – which neither of us likes.  Depending on what we are all wearing, it can take me anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour to iron the “church clothes.”  I don’t know about you, but I generally do not have an extra hour on Sunday mornings!
3. Plan breakfast.  It can be difficult to concentrate in church if your tummy (or that of the person next to you!) is growling for the duration of the service.  As I said before, my husband leaves the house 2 hours before we do.  Sometimes, Hannah isn’t even awake when he has to leave.  So, we don’t try to do “family breakfasts” on Sunday mornings.  But, I still like to make sure he has a good breakfast before he heads out!  So I like to have easy, low-mess, healthy foods ready and available.  If you are not “morning people,” make it something simple (the preparation and the clean up!) – cereal, bagels, muffins, yogurt and fruit.  In some cases you may want to make it something that can be eaten “on-the-go.”  Breakfast burritos are a Sunday morning favorite around here…quick, easy, hearty, warm, and, when necessary, portable.  Oh, and, of course, set the coffee pot to brew automatically.  Silly?  Maybe.  But, in this house, it is so much easier to function after a little bit of caffeine! 
4. Go to bed.  Not necessarily “early,” but at a reasonable time.  I know, easier said than done, right?  Of all of the ways to prepare for Sunday morning on Saturday night, this is by far, the most difficult one for me to accomplish on a regular basis.  As a family, we try to limit Saturday night “social engagements” when possible.  And, we have discovered that Saturday night is not the best time to be out late with friends, or up late watching a movie, playing video games, online (blogging, Facebook, Twitter – you get the idea), or finishing a novel, or sewing project, or scrapbook page.  It is much easier to get up, when the alarm clock goes off, if you have gotten enough rest the night before.  Plan to get up early enough to allow adequate time, to get yourself, and everyone else, dressed, fed, and in the car.  But, also be sure allow time to be in the Word.  Start the day by preparing your heart and mind for the message of the music and the preaching. (This may mean getting up earlier than you do the rest of the week!)
5. Prepare your heart and your mind for worship.  You may want this to be something you do as a family, at dinner, or during family devotions.    Or, it may be the last thing you do, personally and individually, before you go to sleep.  But,  however you choose to do it, take time to reflect on Scripture, pray, maybe sing (or think through) a favorite hymn or worship song, and confess any sins that may hamper your worship or fellowship the next morning.  But, get excited, and look forward to your time with your church family!  Sunday morning is not something to be dreaded.
6. This really falls more under Sunday morning, but as I said before, start the morning in God’s Word.  Continue to prepare your heart and mind.  After you close your Bible, continue to set a reverent and worshipful tone with praise and worship music, or hymns.  Play them as everyone gets ready, in the background during breakfast, or in the car on the way to church.  Hannah and I love pretty much anything by Steven Curtis Chapman, Sovereign Grace, or Matt Redman. We also like This Hope’s A Cappella Hymns, or Seeds Family Worship.   (And, sing along…get your voice warmed up and ready to worship corporately with the rest of the body.  Your music pastor/worship leader will thank you.  Well, maybe not, but I’m fairly confident that he’ll appreciate having someone else singing along!)

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Let’s face it, the lastplace Satan wants you to be on Sunday morning is in the church, sitting under the teaching of God’s Word, praising and worshiping our God and Savior, and encouraging and fellowshipping with our brothers and sisters in Christ.  While he may not be able to prevent you from going, he will make the process of getting there as difficult, and as frustrating as possible!  And, he would love to see you arrive late, flustered, disheveled, and distracted…so that your mind, and your attitude, is anywhere but on Christ and His Word.  And, as an added benefit, if you walk in late, he also succeeds in distracting others!  Nice…two for the price of one.  And, if I may add, walking in late is disrespectful to the pastor (even if he is your husband!).

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Can we change it?  Can we create, in our hearts and in our homes, an atmosphere that causes us to say,

“I was glad when they said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the LORD!’” ~Psalm 122:1

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What are some ways that you maintain a worshipful attitude and atmosphere in your homes on the Lord’s Day?  And, how do you get your family ready, and out the door, on time?